


get the snacks

by snufkinkin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Attempt at Humor, M/M, Meteorstuck, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snufkinkin/pseuds/snufkinkin
Summary: Dave and Karkat have a fight about getting snacks for their movie night
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	get the snacks

DAVE: im bored

DAVE: wanna watch a movie

KARKAT: OKAY.

KARKAT: BUT YOU'RE GETTING THE SNACKS THIS TIME.

DAVE: aw man what

DAVE: i got them last time though

KARKAT: YEAH, AND BEFORE THAT, *I* GOT THEM TWO TIMES IN A ROW.

KARKAT: ERGO, GET THE SNACKS, FUCKHEAD.

DAVE: damn

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: SO?

KARKAT: AREN'T YOU GOING TO GET THEM?

DAVE: nah

KARKAT: ??

DAVE: dont feel like it

KARKAT: THEN I GUESS WE'RE NOT WATCHING A MOVIE.

DAVE: what no

DAVE: it was my turn to choose the movie

DAVE: i had one picked out already

KARKAT: GET THE FUCKING SNACKS THEN.

DAVE: no

KARKAT: OH MY GOD.

KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE SUCH A CHILD RIGHT NOW.

DAVE: i am a child

KARKAT: YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, ASSHOLE.

KARKAT: IF YOU WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE, YOU GO GET THE SNACKS.

KARKAT: SIMPLE AS THAT.

DAVE: ughhhhhhhh

KARKAT: JEGUS.

KARKAT: HOW AM I PALE FOR YOU?

DAVE: uhhh cause im awesome

KARKAT: THAT'S A HORRIBLE ANSWER.

DAVE: no its not

DAVE: "cause im awesome" is objectively the best and most effective way to end an argument

DAVE: like how do you counter that

DAVE: the answer is you dont

DAVE: youll just have to live out the rest of your sad miserable life knowing that you lost an argument to "cause im awesome"

DAVE: because you simply could not come up with an awesomer comeback than that

DAVE: youll go home to your family and when your wife asks you how your day was all you can do is start crying because of the realization that your entire life has been a sham

DAVE: shes gonna look at the kids at the dinner table waiting to be fed as the casserole she lovingly cooked and just took out of the oven is steaming on the kitchen counter

DAVE: then shes going to look back at you with a worried expression on her face and once you can finally utter out how your day truly was she and the kids will be long gone

DAVE: who did they go to

DAVE: take a long and wild fucking guess

KARKAT: ...DID THEY GO TO THE AWESOME GUY

DAVE: bingo

DAVE: see youre starting to understand

KARKAT: I AM NOT.

KARKAT: HOW DOES THIS PERTAIN TO YOU GETTING THE SNACKS?

DAVE: damnit

KARKAT: ?

DAVE: i thought i could distract you enough so you would forget that whole thing

KARKAT: HOLY FUCK DAVE.

KARKAT: IT'S *REALLY* NOT THAT HARD.

KARKAT: THE SNACKS ARE LITERALLY FIVE FUCKING FEET AWAY FROM YOU.

DAVE: what

KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT?

KARKAT: I GOT THAT MINIFRIDGE SO IT WOULD BE EASIER TO STORE THEM.

KARKAT: DID YOU NOT SEE IT?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: would you be disappointed in me if i said yes

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: ...HAHAHA!

KARKAT: HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE IT??

KARKAT: IT'S BEEN THERE FOR LIKE, 2 DAYS!

DAVE: two days??

DAVE: holy shit am i actually an idiot

KARKAT: YES.

DAVE: ouch

DAVE: look man i honestly have no idea how i didnt notice it

DAVE: like looking at it now

DAVE: its so obviously there

KARKAT: I'M *NEVER* GOING TO LET YOU LIVE THIS DOWN.

DAVE: nooo please

DAVE: dont mention this to the others i have to maintain my carefully crafted image

KARKAT: WHAT IMAGE?

DAVE: youre hurting me deeply karkat

KARKAT: SORRY.

KARKAT: CAN YOU GET THE SNACKS NOW THOUGH?

DAVE: yeah okay

**Author's Note:**

> im still trying to get the hang of writing them, hope its not too ooc or anything


End file.
